Today, I returned to PLC, albeit a good ten minutes late. Curry was gone, Justin was working with a tutor who had arrived on time, and where was Kassandra? I spent ten minutes sitting in a stray chair at Mrs. Green's room as she ducked in and out to ask the other students if they had a student who would like to work with someone, and just then was when Kassandra sauntered into the room. Late. Mrs. Green had again kept me updated and told me that Kassandra was often late. When she came to class, it didn't seem like she was actually there.
And there she went, to a computer where she put on earphones and quickly disengaged. Mrs. Green approached her and asked if she'd want to work with me. She said sure. This time, my experience with Kassandra was very different. Through much of the session, she mumbled to herself things that insinuated she could not breeze through it fast enough. “Uh, voice is...ugh, not that. Whatever, B.” I saw a girl who was not focused and who did not see to react when her quiz grades were less than spectacular. She did not try to ask for feedback, but instead, I'd say something like “Hey, let's go back to that last one.”
I asked her if anything was wrong, and I got the cliché response- “I'm just tired.”
But nonetheless, we managed to get a lot of work done. On occasion, I would have to help her eliminate the multiple choice answers and then ask her to choose between a few. That seemed more manageable to her, but on the whole, she did not want to tackle work that involved much reading or critical thinking. It was hard to see the change in her.
At the end of the class, Mrs. Green called me over to her desk and said that she wanted to make sure that I was having a good experience. She said she knew that as much as we are in PLC to help the students, it's very meaningful to us to feel that we are helping a particular student and are able to see the progress. So, she hit me with a question. “Chelsea, I know you've worked with several students now. So, let's make this better for you. Which student would you prefer to work with?”
It came down to a difference between Justin, who I had worked with once, and Kassandra, who I had worked with three times. It was difficult for me to think of rationally instead of emotionally, but I knew that that's what I should do. I thought of Kassandra, who said that she had an exact goal in mind. She wanted to graduate and make her sister proud. But now, she seemed so unreceptive to any sort of help. Still, I wanted to be there for her if she needed me or changed her mind. I knew it was possible that maybe she really just was looking for a feeling of belonging and her grades would begin to stabilize once she got used to the transition. What she was going through again made me think of the book my group and I read, Jocks and Burnouts. It focused heavily on this family-like, peer-focused mentality the “burnouts” foster, and how their grades quickly become of secondary thought. They consider their social experiences to be more realistic than anything school could offer....And when it comes to English 2020, there isn't too much of a counter argument.
Justin, however, seemed that he would honestly welcome my help. He had accomplished a lot in the time that we had worked together, and he seemed eager to work with me again. I did not want the basis of our interactions to be in our shared issues with anxiety, but I remember that when I was in high school, the teachers I appreciated the most were ones that were able to sympathize with and help to alleviate the stress that we incurred as students. And I knew that in a school environment that could only be so personal, it might be good for Justin to be able to interact with someone. I felt that he would feel comfortable enough around me to continue to raise his own questions and tell me what he needed help with.
“I guess...I should go with whomever wants my help. But I enjoy working with both of them for their own reasons. Maybe it would be possible for me to ask them? But I don't want to make them feel like they have to answer to me, like, I'm their second teacher. Should I just work with either of them at their own availability, or?”
“I'll give you time to figure that out,” Mrs. Green responded, “But if you choose, either one of them is going to be very lucky.”
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